Daily Devotional

Maybe you’re in a dating relationship right now and you’re not sure if this is the right person for you. Maybe you’ve met someone and you’re wondering if you should ask them out. Or maybe you’re single and preparing for dating. Wherever you are right now, remember God can use every relationship to make you more like Jesus, even dating relationships.

Here are 8 things Christians should do when they’re dating:

1. Pray for God’s wisdom regarding this relationship
   As you start dating, you have to keep in mind that dating involves two sinful people. No matter how hard you try to be perfect, eventually you’re going to say or do something that will tick the other person off. This is all part of getting to know each other. And even as you’re going through this process, Jesus has to be a priority. Pray for God’s wisdom as you try to figure out whether or not this person is for you.
   
   
2. Don’t isolate yourselves
   As fun as dating is, it becomes a problem if it starts to dominate every moment of your life. And make sure you ask yourself, "Why am I dating this person?" Is it because they meet a specific need in your life that no one else can meet? If so, then this can lead to you never wanting to be apart from this person.
   
   Make sure you keep your dating relationship in its proper place. Don’t sever relationships with your friends, or stop doing the activities you love. And take the time to grow individually in every aspect of your life. Because it's unrealistic to expect this person to meet your every need. Only Jesus can do that.
   
   
3. Meet each other’s friends
   Make sure you have friends who are committed to God and His best for you. And as soon as possible, start meeting each other’s friends. Do things with them. Let them see you interact.
   
   Why is this so important? Because you want your friends to get to know your significant other. You want them to see how that person treats you. And you want to give them permission to bring up any concerns. If your good friends have major concerns about the person you’re dating, that should be a huge red flag.
   
   
4. Think about your potential future together
   As a Christian, one of the most important things you have to look for in a person you're dating is godliness. You might say, “They say they’re a Christian.” And that’s good, but are they godly?
   
   As you talk about your spiritual pilgrimage, do you sense that this person has grown spiritually in the last five years? Do they value time in God’s Word, weekly church attendance, and small group Bible study? Are you excited about who this person is becoming? And remember, you are not looking for perfection, you’re just looking for growth.
   
   
5. Make sure your goals for the future line up
   Early in your dating relationship, it’s easy to ignore tiny decisions your significant other is making that don’t line up with your goals for the future. Don’t do that. The sooner you can talk through these things the better, because these are the things that lead to breakups later on.
   
   What are some future goals to talk about? Where do you want to live? What type of church do you want to attend? What occupation are you pursuing? These are important things to discuss before you get too far into your dating relationship.
   
   
6. Set-up boundaries for physical intimacy
   If you’re both Christians, it is assumed that you will want to align your dating relationship with God’s design for physical intimacy. Sex is reserved for marriage. So setting up boundaries to restrict your physical expression of intimacy is important, and it reflects your values. If you need help setting up these boundaries, please let me know. I’d love to help.
   
   
7. Remember that change takes time
   Anytime you bring two different people together in a dating relationship it can be tough. You may think, “Hey, we’re both Christians, so we will naturally encourage each other to grow spiritually.” Hopefully, that’s true but doesn’t mean you won’t still experience times of misunderstanding and discouragement along the way. You will.
   
   For dating relationships to succeed, both people have to be all-in. You have to spend time together learning each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Each step of the way you need to see signs of good character, the desire to sin less, and a willingness to surrender fully to God.
   
   
8. Make sure you personally are growing in character
   Make sure you are growing in character and that your significant other is doing the same. Make sure they are willing to examine their own life through the lens of Scripture and the eyes of committed Christ-followers around them. Make sure they are growing emotionally, confessing sin regularly, and admitting their mistakes.
   
   I’ve heard people say, “I have concerns about my significant other, but after we’re married, they will change.” Well, I have news for you, they won’t. The person you’re dating is the person you will marry. So deal with your concerns now.

As the Holy Spirit continues to help you grow strong in character, let Him draw you together as a couple, as you encourage each other in your walk with Christ.